Tuesday, 18 March 2014

"You don't look depressed"

I recently saw an interview with a woman who was suffering with depression and she was talking about the reaction she had from people when she told them about it and one comment that was made was that she didn't 'look depressed'. What a silly comment to make, I didn't realise there was a look to depression, that in order to be depressed you had to look a certain way.

There are plenty of people in this world that suffer with depression, people you would least expect because inside they feel like they are dying and yet they put a smile on for the rest of the world. You see depression is something that goes on in the mind, its like there is a separate part of you whispering things in your ear, telling you your not good enough or that you can't do it, it breaks you down. But it doesn't always translate to an outwards appearance, its something that occurs on the inside and to say that you can tell that someone is depressed based on how they look is ridiculous, even the most beautiful and wealthy people in the world can suffer from depression. It's common misconceptions like this that still give the dieses its stigma.

Time for a little honesty.

I suffer from depression and I have for many years now, I hid it for a long time I was ashamed and embarrassed and felt like something was wrong with me. I suppose in some ways there is but not in the way I was thinking. My friends and family just thought I was unsociable and yes while I'm not particularly fond of large social gatherings I do enjoy interacting with people but while I was at the height of my depression I pushed everyone away and truly felt like I was completely alone in the world but I didn't walk round looking sad, I got up everyday and put my make-up on and I've never wore sweatpants outside of my home, I went to work and university. From the outside it appeared as if everything was fine in my life but in reality it wasn't, university was at one point just too much for me and that was my breaking point, I was on the verge of leaving and never going back and one day I just broke down and told my parents everything, every thought or feeling I had ever had. It was the best thing I ever did, they helped me get help and I managed to turn my life around and now I can honestly say I'm happy and that smile on my face that you see, well that smile is real.

If you're reading this and you suffer from depression then all I can say to you is, I know what its like, I know the weight that you feel but please go and get help, its not an over night fix but it will help and just know that people do care and love you, even when it feels like you are alone, you never are.


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